Past, future and present, all words used to break up reality into general comforting terms, and yet all seem to give me none. The past is a line of falls and triumphs which have placed me where I am, but the present seems like a carpet which could at any time be pulled from under my feet and the future toil to an uncertain reward. My mind rejects this notion of reality, but I have not managed to find a more optimism projection. I want to tackle this.
Why should I live in uncertainty. Mastery of destiny should rest firmly in my hands. To think of it as volatile magic out of my grasp is to discredit logic, life and my own control. In my state of life, my choices, or lack thereof, tend to have little or no immediate effect. Inaction has been my default, but is unmaking me. Fear of speaking with others, fear of taking grasp of academics, all of this is holding me back.
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